Dragons of All Sizes
by Tadashi-of-the-Fire-Nation
Summary: Fiske finds a new friend in the woods who also doubles as a clepto. This is dedicated to that fabulous piece of shit HonourableRayne. These characters belong to Disney, Dream Works, and Blizzard.


Dragons of All Sizes

Fiske's Point of View

Rosalie and I had been walking around the island of Berk for about an hour now. Vibrant, white snow covered the meadows, trees, and surrounding mountain peaks. So in other words, it was cold as balls. I didn't really mind it though. The sting of freezing cold air had an exciting energy to it, even though Berk had become such a mundane and boring place. I'm sure it was thrilling during the time of the war against the dragons and the battle between my mother and Drago Bloodfist, but now that everything had settled it had become a pretty desolate abode.

Rose snorted and started burrowing down into a snow mound. Being an ice spitter she really enjoys this kind of weather. She loves it even more than I do. I sat down in the soft, powdery snow and took out my last bag of candy. Dad and I aren't going back to the modern world for another week and I had already managed to eat all of the sweets we had brought back from the last trip. Now I all I had left was this measly bag of gummy bears. They're alright, they're just not my favorite.

I leaned back and stared up at the grey, dreary sky above us as I began shoving small, squishy bears into my mouth. It might start snowing again soon, but I wasn't in the mood to go back home yet. Mom and Toothless were in the middle of a dragon race and Dad is helping Grandma with catching fish for dinner. I would join in on the races but I choose the one dragon on Berk with an insufferable attitude. She flat out refuses to race. End of story. Why? Because she doesn't want to. I'm not sure if she simply doesn't enjoy it or if she's too afraid of losing. Either way, that's her prerogative.

I reached over to grab another gummy bear but found… nothing? I looked under my butt to see if I had somehow magically begun sitting on them. Nope. My candy was nowhere to be seen.

"Rosalie! What the hell did you do with my bears?!" I asked, irritably pushing myself up to a standing position, "Why you gotta take my stuff all the time!? It's like having a younger sibling with you around!"

I was surprised to be met with a bewildered, gummy bear-less Rosalie staring back at me from the snow hovel she had dug for herself. I frowned. That can't be right. Gummy bears aren't advanced, nor organized enough to plan a great escape like this by themselves. I jumped when I heard the familiar sound of crinkling plastic wrapping. Someone, or something, had stolen my crap and hadn't had enough brains to carry it out of earshot.

I cautiously began making my way towards the sound of scrunching plastic. I was going to smack those gummy bears right out of the thief's hands and give him/her a stern talking to about the rules of society and how that was seriously a dick move. The noise was emanating from a nearby bush. I carefully pushed away some of the branches from the shrub to find the most adorable gummy bear thief I had ever seen.

A little Terrible Terror was curled up around the plastic bag and frantically scarfing down gummy bears like his life depended on it. He was a deep purple with two red stripes starting at his eyes and following the contours of his body down his back. The rest of his small body was disproportionately speckled with red dots and his eyes were a warm, chocolaty brown. Around the miniscule creatures neck was a black, leather collar that had something scrawled across the side of it. The small dragon either didn't know I was either, or couldn't bring himself to give a rodent's posterior.

"Aw, you're so cute," I said, slowly extending a hand towards the collar to see if he belonged to anyone.

The petite reptile didn't really like the idea of me touching him. He arched his back and hissed. It would have been menacing if he wasn't the size of a small house cat. Rose decided she didn't particularly like his attitude. She heatedly strutted over to the bush and bared her teeth at the smaller winged lizard.

"Rose don't frighten him!" I chided, "He's not going to do any harm."

Boy was I wrong about that one. The little shit lunged at me and tried to bite my hand clear off. I leapt backwards and with great poise landed on my ass. Rose smashed her paw down on the small dragon and held him there, looking to me for some kind of instructions. I scooched towards the little shithead and gingerly grasped his collar for a closer look at the almost legible chicken scratch etched into the material.

"Hiro," I read aloud, "Well Rose, it looks like the dung heap does have a name. We should probably find his owner."

Rose narrowed her eyes at me with an air incredulity.

"I know he's a bit fussy but you impaled me on the first day remember? At least he has the decency to not pull that kind of bullshit," I countered.

Rose huffed in defeat and bitterly lifted her paw off of Hiro. Hiro scowled up at me and started to stalk away. I picked up what was left of the gummy bears and crinkled the bag a bit. That got the greedy little bastard's attention. He scurried back up to me and put his front claws on my shoe, staring longingly at the bag of candy.

"If you're nice and you cooperate, you can have more. Deal?" I asked.

Hiro looked skeptical for a moment, but it passed pretty quickly when I tossed a small red bear down to him. He took that as an invitation to use me as his personal chauffer. He climbed up the leg of my pants, without my permission I might add, and delved into the front pocket of my jacket, small claws digging into my skin every step of the away.

"Hiro! What the hell!? I didn't express any kind of consent to this sort of treatment," I said, glaring down at him.

Hiro poked his small head out of my pocket and opened his mouth expectantly. I grumbled and fed him another gummy bear. A low growl reverberated through Rosalie's chest and throat. She clearly did not ever hear the phrase "sharing is caring". Or she simply didn't care. Either way Rose was not about to put up with Hiro's bullshit without complaining about it extensively. I offered her a gummy bear but she didn't seem too thrilled by the prospect of eating a sugary, food dyed piece of gelatin.

I should have guessed that Rose and I were never going to find Hiro's owner. We asked everyone on the island and no one knew where the hell he came from. After several hours of trudging through snow and toting around the purple nuisance, I sat down in a mass of the freezing cold snow and sighed. Rose scuttled up and sat next to me, mimicking my sigh with a little more exasperation.

"I guess we just take him home with us. Mom and Dad are going to be thrilled," I said, stroking Rosie's nose.

Rose huffed in vexation and glared at me.

"I know you don't like him but come on. Give him a break. He's out here all alone and has no one to care for him. I'm not just going to leave him out here with nothing. Someone has to help," I replied.

Rosalie grumbled and flicked her tail back and forth in frustration.

"Yeah well, your face is stupid," I answered, then I stood up and started back to the house to go get yelled at for bringing home yet another needy animal. My parents are still pretty bitter about the squirrel with the broken leg. It's not my fault the dumb thing wanted to shred the couch cushions.

On our way back Hiro clumsily clawed his way out of my front pocket and climbed up my torso. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be helping him do something or what the hell Hiro was attempting to accomplish with this dumbshittery in the first place. Rose was starting to tense up and was considering squashing the little shit right then and there, but Hiro finally settled himself down in the hood of my jacket and fell asleep.

Entering the house was pretty much like walking into a WWE fight. Astrid had come over for a visit and clearly didn't know that Dad was going to be home. Mom had been trying desperately to get the two away from each other like he has every other time. His attempts were futile. My mom isn't very good at raising his voice and having himself be heard except on rare occasions. Mom was currently sitting at the kitchen table drawing imaginary pictures on the wooden surface, trying to wait the argument out.

Rose completely ignored the squabble and darted over to where Toothless was sitting next to Mom by the table. Toothless and Rose both began bobbing their heads up and down excitedly in salutation. Then Rose shoved her face into Toothless' and started making a happy, chuffing sound in her throat. Toothless pulled his lips back, showing his gums in an attempt to smile. Dragons can be a pain, but also unbearably adorable when they want to be.

I quietly stepped around the bickering morons to get to Mom. "Do you want to take Toothless out flying? Rose hasn't gotten any exercise all day and I'm sure Toothless would like some fresh air," I said, forgetting about the bundle of bullshit that was still napping in my hood.

Mom looked up from his fantasy artwork and smiled, "Fresh air sounds nice. Come on, Bud. Let's go."

Toothless and Rose happily pranced back out the door together and impatiently waited for Mom and I to get our butts into gear. Once we got outside it was difficult as fuck to get the saddle on Rosalie, but I guess I should really expect that kind of crap from her by now. It's not that she doesn't want to go flying, she just doesn't want to cooperate and make things easy on me. I feel like every time I try and put the damn thing on the narrator from Spongebob was going to come flying in out of nowhere saying something like "3 Hours Later…"

Dad and Astrid were still in a very heated debate about the makings of a good holiday drink when we finally left. Once we were up in the air Mom relaxed and for once in his life his brows weren't furrowed in thought, irritation, or all of the above. It's not that he's uptight or anything like that, he just happens to be surrounded by morons all the time. I will admit, Dad and I both also fall into that category along with the rest of Berk.

After gliding in silence for a little while, Hiro woke up and immediately started being stupid. He crawled out of my hood and almost flew off of Rosalie right out of the gate. I whirled around and grabbed onto his tail, brought him up to my chest, and held him there trying to calm him down. His large, chocolaty eyes were wide with fear. Hiro's small chest rose and fell rapidly as he continued to hyperventilate.

I gently stroked his small head and shooshed him. Hiro's distress began to diminish as I scratched under his chin. Toothless looked over and noticed the small dragon in my arms, which means that Mom wouldn't be too far behind. Right on cue, about ten seconds later Mom was chastising me for bring home another stray.

"Is that a Terrible Terror in your arms right now? What did I tell you about bringing home unexpected pets, Fiske?" Mom asked with an unimpressed air about him. Yup, I was in for it now. The furrowed brows were back in full force.

"He's not a pet, Mom. Hiro's my friend," I said defensively, still cuddling the little nuisance.

"You've named him!?" Mom asked, exasperated, "Jesus, Fiske. Why?"

"His last owner named him that. I spent all day trying to return him but no one has claimed him. No one even knows where he could have come from. Can I keep him, Mom? Please," I begged, "He's so adorable and you won't even know he's there!"

Mom thought about it for a moment, then sighed in defeat, "Alright. You can keep him. Do you think you can handle taking care of him and Rose both?"

"Yeah, of course I can. He's so small, Hiro won't be any trouble at all," I said, having no idea just how wrong that statement truly was.

I cuddled Hiro the rest of the flight to keep him quiet. I wasn't about to let him make a liar out of me. Upon arriving home we got to witness Astrid storming out the front door and stomping all the way back home. I was impressed. I haven't seen anyone rage quit so professionally before this moment. Dad had followed her out to go greet us, but was met with a not so happy reception.

Mom scolded Dad as soon as he dismounted from Toothless, "What the hell did you think you were doing, Jack!?"

"Hey! She started it!" Dad said, somewhat apologetically.

"I know she did! But that doesn't mean you need to continue it!" Mom retorted, "Now go meet your son's new friend. I'm going to put the saddles away and pretend like none of that ever happened."

Dad turned to me, "Oh, you made a friend?"

"Don't sound so surprised! My self-esteem is low in the first place," I snapped, then I held Hiro out in front of me like I was presenting Simba to the rest of the animal kingdom, "Isn't he adorable?"

Dad groaned, "Why. Why did you have to bring home another? And Mom said you could keep this?"

"Yes, he said I could keep _him_," I said, glaring at Dad, "You won't even notice Hiro's there, I promise. So it's ok with you too, right?"

Dad didn't look all that convinced, "Well… alright. If your mother says you can keep him then I have no objection to it."

"Thanks Dad. I won't let you down," I said, hugging him then retreating back inside with my scaly friend to start getting ready for bed. It had been a long day of wandering around and my eyes were starting to get that constant, dull ache right behind the eyeballs. It wasn't pleasant.

Rosalie waddled into my room as I was setting up a bed for Hiro. I took an extra pillow and blanket from the guest bedroom downstairs and placed them near the foot of my bed. Hiro was sitting in the middle of the room curiously watching every move I made. Rose went and laid down in her own much larger bed across the room with a huff of irritation. She was still glowering at Hiro.

"Hiro, come here. I made you a bed. Now make use of it," I said, patting the pillow for emphasis.

Hiro scurried up to the pillow and obediently nested in the center of it. I wrapped the blanket around him good and tight to make sure he wouldn't get cold in the middle of the night. Last thing I need is Hiro getting upset and making noise while my parents are trying to sleep. I could almost hear the sarcasm dripping from their voices now. "Won't even know he's there huh? Won't be a problem will he? He ain't so cute when he's making all that racket!"

I half-assedly brushed my teeth then crawled into bed. Ok, so it's more like I got onto the bed and halfway covered myself with the sheets. It was late and I couldn't be bothered with such trivial things as keeping myself warm and other shenanigans of that sort. I said goodnight to my scaly companions and shoved my face further into the pillow. Not even two minutes after I got settled I heard the faint rustling of bullshit from somewhere in the room.

"Hiro. Go back to bed," I ordered, "Don't make me go over there, shitball."

I wasn't sure if the ensuing silence was him actually doing what I told him or if he was still deliberately disobeying me and just being quieter about it. I only had to wait another few seconds to find out. I felt little paws scuttling across my jumbled mess of bedspread and sheets. I grumbled a bit and rolled over. Maybe if I ignore him he would quit it and go back to bed. No such luck. The little shit crawled onto my head and nested in my hair. After a few moments of readjusting himself Hiro finally curled his tail around his body and shoved his face further into my messy blonde locks. Just what I always wanted. A tropical fruit hat made out of dragon. Now I will surely be at the front of every conga line.

"Pee on me once and you get banished from being up here for the rest of eternity. Goodnight Hiro," I said.

A low rumble emanated from Rosie's perch near the window.

"Goodnight again to you too, Rose," I sighed. This jealousy thing better not last too much longer.

The next morning I woke up and had a panic attack. My reptilian conga hat had gone missing. I sat up and frantically looked around the room. No Terrible Terror to be seen. Hiro had gotten out of my room somehow. He better not be where I think he is.

I heard a very loud crash from downstairs. Rose nearly jumped out of her scales and scrambled along behind me as I sprinted down the staircase into the kitchen. The place looked like a family of raccoons had gone on a family vacation in the cabinetry. Cheetos were scattered all over the floor, a box of Cheerios lay forlornly on its side with all of its innards spilling out across the counter, peanut butter was… on the ceiling? A menagerie of other foods were dispersed throughout the kitchen, leading me to believe that Hiro was in reality a reincarnate of Wreck-It-Ralph.

I saw a small purple butt wedged into a bag of tortilla chips. Aforementioned butt vigorously tried to escape the plastic, crinkly prison as I stormed over to tell it what for. I figured my parents were already awake by now so it wouldn't matter if I chastised Hiro now or later. I pulled the bag off of the dumbass and he turned towards me with the saddest, puppy dog eyes I had ever seen. Was that going to delay his punishment? Absolutely not.

"Hiro! Look what you did! I couldn't make a bigger mess than this if I tried! What made you think this was socially acceptable!? You start cleaning this up this instant, young man!" I scolded.

Hiro sadly put his tail between his legs and began pushing the broken chips that had escaped the bag into a pile. I bitterly snatched paper towels off of the counter and began cleaning up the massive puddle of milk on the floor. Rose started eating the food off of the floor, trying to be of assistance. Even with the three of us cleaning this was going to take an eternity to make this kitchen look sanitary again. It was becoming pretty clear why Hiro had a collar but no owner. I looked up a moment later to see my parents and Toothless standing in the doorway glaring at me.

"Uh, good morning, Mom. Good morning Dad. I can explain this," I said sheepishly.

"I don't want you to explain the mess, Fiske. I want you to explain why we should let you keep that menace of a dragon," Dad retorted, glaring at Hiro.

"You should let me keep him because I can teach him to not make a mess. Besides that, he has no one to love him. He doesn't have a family. I can't just let him continue wandering around out there all by himself gummy bear-less. And on top of that umm… he's fabulous," I said, paper towels sopping wet in my hand from the tidal wave of milk that passed through when fucking Hurricane Hiro struck the unsuspecting kitchen. Toothless quickly forgot about his rude awakening and eagerly started eating things off of the floor along with Rose.

Mom and Dad exchanged exasperated glances before Mom spoke up, "You can keep him as long as you get him to the point of being socially acceptable. Soon."

"I can do that! I just need a little bit of time," I said, milk dripping down my arm as I reached up to grab more paper towels. The environment is going to hate me after this is all over.

"Yeah. You're going to need time and a shock collar," Dad snorted, then he grabbed some paper towels of his own, pulled a chair over, and began wiping the peanut butter off of the ceiling. Mom followed suit and retrieved the broom and dust pan out of Harry's closet. We call it Harry's closet because it's a small oddly shaped room under the stairs. When we first moved in Dad made a joke about putting me in there to grow up like Harry Potter. Mom and I weren't too crazy about that idea, and somehow I didn't think that Dumbledore would be sending me any acceptance letters to Hogwarts. I didn't really have the grades.

"That's ok. You guys can go back to bed," I said, shifting my weight to get out of Rose's way. She was having a little too much fun gorging herself on junk food.

"I don't know, Fiske. You can't seem to get your life together enough to keep track of your reptilian Chihuahua," Dad said tauntingly.

"Ok, rude. I have my life together. I even managed to do the dishes without breaking any last night," I retorted.

"Amazing," Mom said sarcastically, "Now if we can only get you to walk and chew gum simultaneously."

"You guys suck," I huffed, bitterly continuing to mop up the milk.

They continued insulting me the entire time. 5 hours of cleaning total, and there was nothing but verbal abuse the whole way through. I guess that was part of my punishment. Later that day Hiro and I started training, which would last a few exhausting, grueling weeks. He would argue with me sometimes, and almost do what I wanted others. It only took a month and a half to get Hiro's shit in order. There were only a few more minor incidents in the kitchen and Rosalie finally stopped trying to eat him. Another few weeks after that it was like he had always been there. Hiro would sleep in my hair at night and sit in my lap or the hood of my jacket during the day. He would "help" Mom and Toothless with work at the saddlery.

Dad kept making jokes about him being the Mr. Bigglesworth to my Dr. Evil. Hiro wasn't overly pleased about that. Not that he would know who Mr. Bigglesworth is, I think he just doesn't like the name. It was nice having a light, portable lap dragon around. Being so small and snugglable made Hiro easier to cuddle with at night while watching scary movies. Overall, ten out of ten, would have my gummy bears stolen again.


End file.
